Sunday, February 10, 2013

Short Snippet Sunday - Mortality (1)

Okay! Here we go, back on schedule!

I will apologize once more for the lack of posts the other couple days, I was tired, lazy, and watching Doctor Who. As I said, I have no regrets.

Anyway, this is my replacement for Six Sentences Sunday. If you would like to join me in Short Snippet Sunday'ing, you can give me a link in the comments or send me a tweet or an email and I can link to your blog/post at the bottom of my post every Sunday.

So, my Snippet. This is from the end of the first (rewritten) scene of Mortality. I feel these characters are rather well defined.

“That damned mortal killed six of us. Six. Within a mortals lifespan, he devised a way to do so. What could these abominations do with limitless time? There is nothing to be gained by letting them live and everything to lose.” 

He took a step towards the ‘failed’ Roen and Diagania put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. 
“I won’t let you do this.” Her voice had dropped to a bare whisper. 

“So stop me.” 

So what do you guys think?

3 comments:

  1. I love reading your snippits, they are always so intriguing. This is great, very tense.

    I'm tempted to join you in the snippet posting, see if I can get some interest in my stories. Hmm, we'll see.

    Anyway, great stuff and go go editing! :D

    - Celuth

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  2. Well...now I want to read more. I think I'm going to be looking forward to these snippets. Maybe I'll join you by posting my own little writing bits...one day. Not now though. I'm not ready for that now.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

    -Cylee

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  3. So I think you're a good/bad influence on me. I put up my own Short Snippet Sunday (which is hilarious, given the name of my blog...), and will probably be doing so each Sunday now... Oh boy. :P

    I liked this one! Though the middle paragraph doesn't make sense; "He took a step towards the ‘failed’ Roen and Diagania put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him." Did he take a step towards "the 'failed' Roen" or did he take a step towards the 'failed' but Roen and Diagania stopped him? Just needs to be worded a little differently :)

    Have a good week!

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