Six Sentences Sunday Six

Wow! That's a lot of S's.

Anyway, I'm kind of stuck on a scene right now. Seriously thinking about rewriting it, so here's the last six sentences of it. It may change dramatically through rewrites. But this is it for now. Enjoy?

The worry that washed over Damon put his own to shame. “I mean- We think she was kidnapped.” 

“You think?” 

“Alucard. Calm down. You are over reacting.” 

“Over- You- Of all the-.” 

Damon worried for a moment when the connection disappeared. When he could sense Alucard again, the man seemed calm. Too calm. 

“Why, for the love of all that is holy, are you not over reacting?”

The reason I'm stuck is... well... why *isn't* Damon reacting in the way that Alucard is?

Bah! I'll figure something out. Happy Saturday Sunday, you guys!

Dialogue

Hey. Late post today. Apologies.

So, as writers, there's GOT to be that one thing we struggle with.

Whether it's finding time to write, actually getting words out of your head on paper, editing, character creations, world creation, not procrastinating, etc. The possibilities are endless.

What's mine?

Dialogue.

I dislike writing dialogue. But I love how my characters interact. I don't know that the two are connected, but that seems a bit of a discrepancy to me.

I found out the other day, that when I don't have anything planned next... my characters talk about what they're going to do.

That just... it ends...

Well, here. I'll give you an example.

What I was writing yesterday. (It's from Mortality, if you are not familiar with the characters)

The vampire smirked slightly, looking out the window to where the sun was sinking below the horizon. “Would you believe it if I were to tell you I am older than the Elder’s of the school you protect? I had a deal with the previous Elder’s, actually. But that did not carry over, apart from my own promise that our kind, that is, those that I speak for, would not go near the school grounds.” 

Blade’s eyes narrowed. ‘But to find Devin-.’ 

“I broke that promise. I know. It was necessary. Without the girl, we cannot regain what we have lost.” 

‘How is she supposed to help? Why must it be she?’ 

Alucard shook his head. “I do now know that. But I know it must be her.” 

Blade huffed quietly. ‘Who are the Helyn?’ 

It was Alucard’s turn to be taken aback. “The Helyn? I… do not believe I have heard that name before. But it has the sound of a word from a long dead language. It used to be spoken by a peoples in the Kwiktilk Mountains. However, I cannot tell you without more context what it means.” 

“They are a group of people,” Damon explained from the door way. “Devin’s asleep,” he said by way of answering the questioning looks. 

Also, dialogue tags. When it's two men (okay, a wolf and a vampire, but both male) speaking, I can't use just 'he' and 'she', but if I use their names too often, it reads awkwardly. To me. I may be insane. That's a distinct possibility.

I showed a bit of that to a friend of mine, she says there is too much action to detract from the dialogue. But I think the action is fine, it gives the reader a clearer view of what is happening.

I can't point to what I don't like about my dialogue, but it feels awkward and clunky to me.

What're your thoughts?

Sidenote: I'm considering moving to Wordpress. Thoughts?